Why can't serving be fun?

Its not a question. Its a statement. I am not trying to ask why serving is not fun, I am trying to point out why we can't see serving as something fun. So many times in the past I have been holding on to the idea that serving is something extra to do, adding on to the things that we already do daily. I think I am viewing it in a totally different prospect than what God wants me to view it.

Why all the fear about going to the China mission trip? So what if my chinese is not good? God doesn't just use words to do everything. Serving is something I want to look forward to everyday. I wanna have that enthusiasm, where i just can't wait to serve!

I've been looking at the mission trip quite negatively the past few days. I keep asking myself "If my language is not good how on earth am I gonna even start a conversation with them, let alone share the gospel. And if I cant share, then I am letting God down, no?"

BADBADBAD! I wanna throw away those thoughts! It is through our weaknesses that God's strength can be shown! I wanna be happy, about the fact that I am actually going overseas on a mission where God is the focus of it! I don't understand why I feel so stressed about it, I should be feeling happy, afterall, God is leading me, right? But I just know something awesome will happen there, I just can't wait to find out! Maybe its time to change my mindset! Maybe this is just what I needed, to really test myself if I will rely on God with my whole heart and let him take control, or just continue worrying about the things that I can't do.

And I tell you, I will surely go for the first one.

I remember going for the national day prayer meeting conducted by Pastor Daniel. He said "It is not by chance or luck that you are here. You are here for a reason. Even though you are here because your leaders or your friends ask you to come, you are here right now. And it is not by chance." Maybe I should put this in my context?

It is not by chance I am going for the china trip. There is a reason behind it!

Maybe all it takes is just a leap of faith.

I don't know why.. I just have the urges to blog at the weirdest of times. Its 3.27 am now.. and I was just about to go to bed. But I don't know, so many things are in my mind right now. Isn't it weird, its school holidays but I feel there just so much more on my mind than during school.

I was on my bed, about to fall asleep, but I just could not stop thinking about the China mission trip, and about the sermon on Saturday. There was some relation that God wanted me to know about, but I just could not figure it out.

First let me talk about the China mission trip. We had a briefing on Saturday, and the cost has been raised from 700 to $1000. I havent told my mum yet. But she would not like it, because she already said 700 was a lil too expensive. I don't mind forking out 300 or more on my own, which leads me to another thing. I wanted to use this $300 for something for my birthday coming up soon.

And the next thing. Tell me to evangelise in English and i'll say "okay.. maybe when the opportunity arises." Tell me to evangelise in Chinese? "Oh great!" Its something I don't really see myself being able to do. But hey, anything is possible with God right? hah.(trying to be optimistic here!)

Money is not really the problem, although I really wanted to plan something using the 300+ for my birthday and all, but is what I achieve there that really counts. I don't wanna go there, and after the mission trip, just say "Oh, good experience, learn their culture, learn more chinese blabla". I wanna be like "Hey look how much I have grown and stepped out of my comfort zone!" What im trying to say is, I dont wanna go there and just merely TRY my best to evangelise in broken Chinese. I WANT to do it! I just feel so angry that the fact that my Chinese is bad that I cannot do things to my up most potential.

But I don't wanna back out of this trip. In this week's sermon Pastor Daniel said that God doesn't spoon feed you. He's like, here's your promise, come and claim it. "Come and claim it." This really speaks to me. I can't just me sitting here and nagging about my problems and my weaknesses, I have to step out of my comfort zone and claim that promise. I know it will not be easy. It really won't be. But I have to somehow throw aside this fear inside me about my weaknesses.

I asked God just now, "Should I go? Will it really be worth it? Seriously? China? Chinese? I thought after O levels I would never need to use chinese again!" Talk about a God full of surprises! haha! But I know deep inside that I have to go for this trip. I just know something will happen during the trip, I don't know exactly what it is, but I know something incredible will happen, but this layer of fear is stopping me achieving what God promised for me. I need to claim it. Maybe all it takes is just a leap of faith.

ideas ideas ideas!

In yesterday's post, I wanted to try out to cook/make something... but I really wasn't sure about it. I mean, i've never tried this before.. and I am really very lazy when it comes to going to the supermarket to get the ingredients. I always had this fear that something would screw up, like for example ingredients that are out of stock! Man that sure pisses me off! Going all the way to supermarket(walking 100metres!=p) just to realise that something is out of stock! ARGH!

Anyway, I wasn't that serious about doing it now..maybe about a week or two later. But in the afternoon I was talking to Melina over msn and she gave me the recipe for brownies.. after awhile, I thought " Hey, I might just be able to pull it off! " And, my sister's 21st birthday is on 17th september, so maybe I can make the brownies and put 21 candles on it? HAHA. So weirdd huh. But it sounds good. I mean, I wouldn't just want a plain ordinary cake for my 21st birthday too!

Sooo heres my idea. A brownie, with 1 scoop of icream on top, with 1 candle in it! hahah.. sounds like hard workkkkkkkkkkkk!

Ingredients
- 250g unsalted butter
• 200g dark Fairtrade chocolate (70% cocoa solids), broken up
• optional: 75g dried sour cherries
• optional: 50g chopped nuts
• 80g cocoa powder, sifted
• 65g plain flour, sifted
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 360g caster sugar
• 4 large free-range or organic eggs
• optional: zest of 1 orange
• optional: 250ml crème fraîche

Second chance

yeap! Exams are over. 6 weeks of holidays to go. Normally, everytime before my exam ends, I would go like "this time after exams I will do something fruitful" etc etc, but i tend to just go back to my plan old habits of gaming till 4am, and waking up at 4pm.

But this holidays will be different! I have something to look forward to! China Mission Trip! Its gonna be my first time doing this, so I think i'll need to prepare myself mentally and spiritually! :)

I also wanna do other things this holidays! Some I can think off the top of my head are

- Keeping my blog alive! (MUST!)
- Keep fit and stop eating chips!
- Doing quiet time in the morning! (something I wanted to do long ago just couldnt achieve it >_<)


Oh ya! I remembered one more. I want to start cooking! I know it sounds a lil random, but hey, during my exams, my sister was cooking delicious food for me! And now its my turn, as she just started school. I think i'll start with something simple... ahhh i don't know!

DREAMS

Looks good?

Now imagine me riding it.


...Dreams

Glory to God.

You know i just sense tonight, that

as we praise god,
as we give glory to him,
that instead of becommming a lot of individuals with single hearts,
we'll be united with one heart.

Isn't that what the church is?
Many parts but one body.
And this power, in unity tonight.

I wanna encourage you tonight,
that God can break seperation,
and He can join.
God is the resolver.
God is our healer.
God can build bridges
God can mend hearts together tonight.

There may be brokeness in your own heart, or brokeness in your community.
But you know what?

Glory to God.

-Audacious-

God can never fail you. Its just you failing to trust him.

TODAY I SAW GOD ON THE BUS. NO, REALLY!

SUCH AN AMAZING THING. OK THIS IS HOW IT STARTED

I was on the way back home from sch in 157, sitting at the back of the bus.

Halfway throughout the journey, i saw this guy.. around my age.. abit nerdy, walked from the seat at the front of the bus to the seat infront of me. I knew something was wrong. I JUST KNEW IT. He was like eyeing me every few seconds. I pretended to act blur, as i was listening to my ipod. I even wanted to act like i was asleep, but i knew something interesting was gonna happen. In his hand was a bible, and he kept flipping the pages. The first thought that came to my mind was, "maybe he's just reading a bible on the bus'. But he was sitting at the front of the bus. Why would he walk all the way to the back in sit infront of me, eyeing me and holding a bible? I thought i knew it. He wanted to share with me. I sort of smiled to myself ( i was still acting blur listening to my ipod). It was as if God was trying to tell him to tell me smth, but he was scared. I mean, who wouldnt be right? If God tells u to go to the back of the bus and talk to this random guy with an afro? Okay, so all that was what i thought. I didnt really think it would happen. Anyway, im christian already, so what was the need? Why is God asking someone to share to a christian? I couldnt see the point. What happened next totally shocked me.

He finally turned to me after eyeing me for so long, and said this sentence. "Maybe this book has the answers for you." Stunned.

Shocked.
Puzzled.
Still listening to my ipod.

I really didnt know how to react. I THOUGHT he was gonna share to me or smth, but i really didnt know he was gonna ACTUALLY DO IT.

I took out my earpiece. All i said was " yeah, im christian". I know its a funny answer but, i didnt know how to react. Then he just got off the bus

What was happening? Why? How? For what? Now i remember. I havent been reading my bible for the past 2 weeks because of my projects. "Maybe this book has the answers for you". Yes it does, and i knew it. But did i do it?

It must be God! If not who? He had so much courage, i admire him. Seriously. I think that all these busy weeks with assignments has made me forget the bible, the answer to everything. God really did appear to me. He cares. A lot. To such an extent that he came right to my face and say " MAVIN !!! CANT U SEE THAT THE BIBLE IS THE ANSWER SHEET? PLSSSSS I GAVE U BRAINS FOR A REASON!"

He appeared. He did!! Sorry i cant stop saying it. Wow. Just wow. How often do these things really happen? After i came down the bus. I started running home. I don't know why. I needed to talk to God. I started sweating. I felt guilt. I needed God. FAST. There are so many things happenin in the world now like the Haiti earthquake. But God, yea! GOD! HE TOOK THE TIME to come infront of me. MAN! I TELL U. This God is awesome. Nothing can be better. He loves you and me so much. I will never forget this. He appeared ! HE DID!!! I KNOW IT !! I COULD FEEL IT! IT WAS HIM ALRIGHT!

STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM GOD! HE WANTS TO GIVE U HIS LOVE! Just let him try for once.

This is my story in the bus =)
<3God

EDIT : I saw GOD IN HIM, he is not God =X