The American Life

Yeah. 14 weeks have passed since i got here. And I haven't kept my promise. I didn't even blog a sing bit. Not even a whisper.

Well, life goes on. I really love it here, and that's the truth. Everything here is perfect. The people, polite. The environment, beautiful. The lifestyle, relaxed. This is what I always have longed for... or not?

I don't know. There's still this hole. Something's missing. My family. My lifegroup. My friends, and most importantly, my God. I don't know. I think I could have done so much better in terms of my spiritual walk. I fell I haven't done enough. Yes I go to the church every Sunday.

But going to church does not make you a Christian.

I mean, I really had dreams. Not dreams from the world, but from God. Where has that gone? Have I distanced myself that far from God? Am i chasing the world, or am I chasing after the heartbeat of God? Something I should really reflect on.

I am not saying that, 'oh this trip was a mistake'. Hell no! I believe this trip was from God, but I did not rely on God on my daily decisions. I feel that I am just doing it all on my on strength. Maybe its time for a change. A radical one.

I will really miss life here. It's just so.. peaceful. I thank God for this 5 months. You know, even though I haven't been as faithful to God as I should have, God has never let me down. He has always been providing me with everything I need, and even more. I have so many testimonies to tell.

If anyone in my lifegroup is reading this, I have something to tell you! Thank you. For everything. Really. You are the best. I love each and every one of you and I want to give everyone hugs right now! :)


Credits to Kenneth Ng for the amazing photo above.

Its been long

Yeah, very long. So much has happened since. Ups and downs. But I thank God for being faithful all the way.

Well, as it is, I am leaving for USA this sunday. My dream has finally come to past eh? Ask me this question since my last blog post, i would've never imagined that I would be given a chance to have this experience.

God is so gracious.
God is so kind.
God is love.

I thank you Jesus. Let me grow and come back a changed man, even more on fire for You! Lead me and provide me! I hope i'll meet an awesome community there...

LOVE RANT.

hahahaa! I don't have much to say, or anything specific, but I love seeing everything thats going on. Today was a day where I began to look at discipleship like never before!

We had discipleship today at dhoby ghuat, and boy I tell you God was surely there! I feel that it was one heck of a session! We just begin to pour everything out! Asking each other our doubts, encouraging each other. Well, THATS LIFE! I always want it to be this way! This is the culture we should have!

I am really looking forward to discipleship nowadays! Its like lifegroup all over again, but this time its only about 3-4 of us, means more time to share with each other and get more personal! I thank God for a small group that I have. I am just so encouraged by what we all said, especially Dharmen and his ecounter with a stranger in the rain! Really touched me! Isn't that how we should live life? Bringing a smile everywhere you go, lighting the place up. Its us christians that can proudly smile in bad times because we have such a mighty GOD, that make our situations so small!

And now Wilson and Dharmen also started reading boooks!(plus duno how many more in our lg)! I WANNA READ A BOOK TOO! I still havent read the book "I kissed dating goodbye", which was given to me on my 17th birthday!

Thank you Jesus

hah! Thank you God! Seriously, thank youuuuuuuuuu!<3

Thank you for the sermon yesterday! I once felt that I had the control of every part of my life, and that you could only help me here and there. Yet another false belief!

You know, it really takes all the pressure off my shoulders! Its like I was dragging a 50k weight on myself the whole time, and the feeling of letting it go, the feeling of freedom, the feeling of knowing you are in good hands!

I am so thankful today, no matter what, not even exams can change my mood now!

I love my life

Its really do encouraging to see change. I really love what I am seeing in my lifegroup. Things are beginning to change. Families are beginning to come to Christ! Many times we think "Why isnt this happening in our family?" But the answer is YOU! God made YOU the only Christian in your family for a reason. To be the light of your family! Thats a very big responsibility that God have given you!

God wants so much to happen in our families, but that can only happen if you let Him!I really hope that seeing people's life change will motivate me more! But the thing is, am I just going to be encouraged and leave it as "one of the encouraging moments"? NO! Action needs to be followed up!

2011 is gonna be a very exciting year. And I am loving every moment of it so far!

where is God when you most need him?

His ways are higher than mine, I know.
Our little brain can't comprehend his ways, I know.

But sometimes, I am sure everyone wonders where God is in times we need him most. We get so uptight with the situation that we just keep blaming God, failing to hear what He has to say.

Sometimes its just so fustrating. God is GOD! And I wish he could be just like a fairy who grants my every wish. Truth collides? yea, im sure!

Yesterday's sermon was really something. There are so many truths, its gonna be difficult and a long journey to find out all of them. I guess the first step is always the hardest.

Why can't serving be fun?

Its not a question. Its a statement. I am not trying to ask why serving is not fun, I am trying to point out why we can't see serving as something fun. So many times in the past I have been holding on to the idea that serving is something extra to do, adding on to the things that we already do daily. I think I am viewing it in a totally different prospect than what God wants me to view it.

Why all the fear about going to the China mission trip? So what if my chinese is not good? God doesn't just use words to do everything. Serving is something I want to look forward to everyday. I wanna have that enthusiasm, where i just can't wait to serve!

I've been looking at the mission trip quite negatively the past few days. I keep asking myself "If my language is not good how on earth am I gonna even start a conversation with them, let alone share the gospel. And if I cant share, then I am letting God down, no?"

BADBADBAD! I wanna throw away those thoughts! It is through our weaknesses that God's strength can be shown! I wanna be happy, about the fact that I am actually going overseas on a mission where God is the focus of it! I don't understand why I feel so stressed about it, I should be feeling happy, afterall, God is leading me, right? But I just know something awesome will happen there, I just can't wait to find out! Maybe its time to change my mindset! Maybe this is just what I needed, to really test myself if I will rely on God with my whole heart and let him take control, or just continue worrying about the things that I can't do.

And I tell you, I will surely go for the first one.

I remember going for the national day prayer meeting conducted by Pastor Daniel. He said "It is not by chance or luck that you are here. You are here for a reason. Even though you are here because your leaders or your friends ask you to come, you are here right now. And it is not by chance." Maybe I should put this in my context?

It is not by chance I am going for the china trip. There is a reason behind it!